Label: Disky - GDO 852182 • Series: Kneipen Hits • Format: 2x, CD Compilation • Country: Europe • Genre: Pop • Style: Schlager, Ballad
Of the current top five albums on the German chartstwo are schlager records. To put it into perspective, that would be like if the number three and four albums on The Battle Of Nevermore (Demo Version) - Chastain - Ruler Of The Wasteland US Billboard Hot were Christian rock about cats.
One: Schlager contains lyrics that are maximally chirpy, predictable, simplistic and very, very, very, very rhyming. Like if your Golden Retriever learned German and then wrote a song. The latter is probably why so many Germans rightly find it offensive. Schlager songs are usually, as the above demonstrates, about love as envisioned by an animate American Girl doll.
And on and on schlager plodded, like the treacly chords of its own hooks, through the disco era, and then sharing radio space with actual greats of the German New Wave in the eighties Nena 4Lyfe! I can make fun of my own mom as much as I want, but if someone else does it, I am legally obligated to kick their ass.
So, even though schlager is categorically awful, do I as a non-German have any right to diss it? In fact, I will totally understand if what Various - Kneipen Hits - Schlager Balladen have coming to me for voicing this particular opinion is my very own Schlag to the face.
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Last Night - The Surf Family Featuring Dick Dale And Introducing The Hollywood Surfers - The Surf Fa, Trumpet - The Koolpritz - The Sketch, Salvation Is Here - Hillsong - God He Reigns, Out Front - Freddy King* - Lets Hide Away And Dance Away With Freddy King